Archive for July 2010

Cock Rock Report

Please, help make Twitter much less stressful than it needs to be.

By laughing at this video, you acknowledge that old people do serve a purpose.
Read More→

Bullfighting is Better Than Bullshit

dude, you're not there to protest

If you’re like most honest Americans, watching the World Cup didn’t make you feel connected to the rest of the world, it made you feel alienated, and not in the BS, Marxist kind of way. From scoreless games to unexplained penalties and all the indefinite remaining time in between, we could only wonder how the rest of the world can endure, let alone celebrate, a sport that is so lame and steeped in tradition that it makes arranged marriage feel like eating over the sink.
Read More→

Oliver Stone Defends Himself

“duh, money is stupid”

I hate to defend Oliver Stone, so I’ll only defend him if I start out the defense by saying that I hate to defend him. This is also the prelude to my defense of Mel Gibson, which is not a coincidence considering that these men both play down the Holocaust, a PR nightmare in a society that demands we pander to avoid being labeled a bigot.
Read More→

Ten Ways the Supreme Court Would be Different if the Cast of The Expendables Served as Justices

scotchgard the carpet for when Steve Austin gets thirsty

The coolest item in the news is the pending premier of The Expendables while the lamest item in the news is Elena Kagan’s confirmation hearings. So it got me thinking how much better the Supreme Court would be if it was packed with guys who have too much testosterone, rather than girls who just have haircuts with too much testosterone.
Read More→

An Open Letter to Gay Dudes

okay guys, we get it

You guys have really come a long way in recent years. No longer are you secluded to department stores, asylums, or minor roles in a Mel Brooks film. It’s even totally legal now for a guy to walk down the street while carrying a purse, unless of course the purse is the same color as his blouse, which will always be a fashion crime.
Read More→

Episode 40: McSorley’s,
The Expendables

A guest host helps to conceptualize the best bar in the world and then we drool over The Expendables.

Cock Rock Report

I once had poop that looked like this after that night I chugged a fifth of Goldshclager.

There is a Baby Gap, so why not a Baby American Apparel?
Read More→

Cock Rock Advisor

Can love last a lifetime? – Frankie, Jersey City

Platonic love lasts until the guy confesses his romantic love and so then the girl realizes how creepy he was the whole time. Self love can last a lifetime as long as it’s rejuvenated periodically through a regimen of pull-ups and flexing in the bathroom mirror. Romantic love lasts as long as the guy is able to sustain self love and as long as the girl is able to sustain her body.
Read More→

Ten Ways I Would Stimulate the Economy

and rename the Fed, "Stupid Building Butt Face"

Obama’s attempt to stimulate the economy by moving money around isn’t working too well. Complete deregulation would be the best strategy, but that might not be too realistic in a society in which people still blame the current lack of productivity on the people who produce the most.
Read More→

The Men Who Never Were

indeed, women can do menial tasks

In the most recent issue of The Atlantic, Hanna Rosin wrote an article called “The End of Men”  in which she argues that feminism overshot equality, so now women are more dominant than men, even outside the velvet rope of a strip club.
Read More→