Archive for Politics

A Sobering Look at Human Trafficking

a bad way to end human trafficking

We’re a black coffee and a cold shower away from ending human trafficking.
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On Prostitution

We’ve been fed a load of shame about prostitution.
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The Anatomy of a Strike

a lift six

Why teachers are fat and referees are thin.
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Gilligan in Chief

“hey, little buddy!”

Since the practical difference between the two Presidential candidates is meaningless, it’s time to stop thinking about them and start judging them.
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The Five Stupidest Arguments Against the Second Amendment

“… shall not be infringed.”

What did Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, and Ted Kennedy have in common? Other than having killed 50,000,001 people between them, they all wisely recognized that a disarmed population is an obedient population, ready to be buttfucked government-style. It is no great mystery why political leaders who preach equality prefer their downtrodden tax monkeys be disarmed. Less obvious is why any civilian would support the faggotry of being forcefully and permanently disarmed. It requires tremendous faith in the state’s forever benevolent use of firearms, particularly when that sentiment is clearly not reciprocated to him. The great lengths these political eunuchs go through to bend the truth and twist language to support their overlord’s quest for a monopoly on gun ownership, 1984 style, only muddles the mystery.
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The Medicinal Benefits of Assault Rifles

Dutch and Mac relieve stress

The wake of outrage from the Colorado shooting (which was made possible by an AR-15 assault rifle) has flooded my ears with this rhetorical question: “who even needs an AR-15 assault rifle, anyway?” This is a good argument. It’s true, after all—nobody really needs an assault rifle. My libertarian DNA struggles to concede this point.
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Five Laws That Would Keep Chicks From Voting

“I vote that my ex-boyfriend is a jerk!”

America would be better off if girls couldn’t vote. The political scene, without having to appeal to the intuition of females, would be much less political. Pomp would be replaced with real, ideological discussion. Let’s be honest, chicks would vote for Hitler if he showed up at a gala with his mother as his date, then talked about how he rescues animals.
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What a Revolution Looks Like

your country’s a mess when its political summits look like soccer riots

When Egypt rebelled against Hosni Mubarak last year, we questioned their ideals. Replacing Mubarak with the Muslim Brotherhood party is taking the fetter off your ankle and putting it around your neck. Now with this Egyptian soccer riot, instigated by fans politically tied to the rebellions, we are compelled to also question their methods. Are Egyptians actually becoming politically aware, or do they just like rioting?
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Romney is the Joke, We’re the Laughter

“I’m just a regular guy”

We’ve all realized that the presidential primaries are a reality show, right? There’s constant finger-pointing, undisclosed plastic surgery, and a team of writers working ’round the clock to keep contestants as interesting as possible. The only difference is that we all have a definite opinion about who should get kicked off The Bachelor. Christians may lean towards Rick Santorum, and libertarians may lean towards Ron Paul, but for the most part, nobody really knows for sure who the best candidate is. This is why Mitt Romney is going to win the nomination.
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Top Ten Pick-Up Lines Overheard at Occupy Wall Street


works every time

Like all human endeavors that don’t make much sense, the Occupy movement is just one, large mating ritual. As such, the protests are a hotbed of pick-up lines. Not all of them achieve their intended effect, but they all shed light on the essence of the Occupy movement.
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