Seven Signs a Girl Wants You

By: Cock Rock Posted in Dating, Manliness on Monday, September 27, 2010

Modesto sans meth

It’s easy to get caught up in trying to figure out if a girl wants you. Is that a polite smile or a genuine smile? Is she mimicking you because she’s nervous, or because she comes from a poor, provincial town? Is she crossing her legs away from you because she’s disinterested or because her vagina smells like Modesto?

You can drive yourself crazy with these questions. All the books on body language by whatever author was on Oprah last week may be right, but that doesn’t mean they’ll get you what you want.

If a girl who’s not a stripper flips her hair like a stripper, this may signal that she wants you, but if you’re too focused on picking up on signals then you’re not going to be focused on the goal.

So let’s look at how to read girls in a way that will get you what you want. These tips might not tell you everything a girl’s thinking, but not even her own brain could do that.

1. She doesn’t run away

and even if she does (sometimes)

This one is simple enough: if you’re talking to a girl and she’s not at least trying to plan an escape, then she wants you. Though if girls never try to run away from you in mid conversation, then you’re just not trying hard enough.

2. She’s at the gym

prolonged cardio is a knee injury waiting to happen, so she’s a damsel in distress

Girls go to the gym for three reasons: (1) To lose weight before their wedding, which means they’re looking for one last fling (which is you, dummy). (2) To look for a boyfriend upgrade, usually to a guy who goes to the gym (which is you, dummy). (3) To vainly try to burn off the two cookies they had at lunch (which has nothing to do with you, but also has nothing not to do with you).

3. She’s at a park

a cry for a boyfriend

Would a girl lay out at the park in her bikini if she wasn’t praying that you would talk to her? Let me ask this question in a different way that hits closer to home for us: Would guys go to the park to play cornhole at noon with their plaid-shorts buddies if they had a life?

4. She’s at a bar


When a girl goes to a bar, she’s going there for a certain reason that has your face plastered all over it. Unless she’s at a gay bar specifically to avoid guys hitting on her, in which case she’ll be that much more appreciative when you show her the true feelings she has for you.

5. She laughs at your jokes or doesn’t laugh at your jokes

if your jokes make her cry, you’re on your own

If you’re at least trying to have fun around a girl, she will want you, no matter her reaction. Different girls react to the same external stimuli in different ways. Some will be coy while others will blurt out with laughter. Besides, girls think about tampons too much to know when it’s appropriate to laugh.

6. You’re not friends with her

without a friend zone, there wouldn’t be a doink zone

If you’ve ever gone out with a girl and you didn’t make a move, I’ve got awesome news for you: every other girl in the world wants you.

7. You’re not thinking about if she wants you

beware: this is what you’ll look like when thinking about if a girl likes you

If you know of a girl, even if it’s just a girl you see occasionally at the grocery store, and you’ve never thought about if she wants you, then she definitely wants you. In every sexual relationship dynamic, one of the parties is going to start acting more like Michael Cera than the other, at least a little bit. And if it’s not you, then it’s her, even if she doesn’t append her sentences with, “or whatever.”

    About Cock Rock

    I am Mark.

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    1. Steve says:

      what about drinkin PBR?

    2. Cock Rock says:

      The advice in this article presupposes that you drink PBR like you mean it, of course.

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