“UN peace keepers rape African girls–oops”
It’s just as easy to love the founder of Wikileaks as it is to hate him. He’s courageous, but he looks like Eurotrash. He exposes the inherent corruption of bloated governments, but he does it for Eurotrash reasons. He raw dawgs his groupies (even if raw dawging is a little Eurotrashy), but his groupies are frumpy feminists.
We’ll never resolve these contradictory issues in our mind, so let’s do away with our personal feelings and focus on the essentials: why we even need Julian Assange in the first place.
1. We will never be truly threatened by him because of his effeminacy.
2. Tracking his every move will hark us back to our beloved “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?” days.
3. The word “Wikileak” is a beacon of urination jokes.
4. If there’s an outlet for guys who want to see girls fellate a donkey, then there should be an outlet for government whistleblowers.
5. The only way the most underrated actor of all time, Bill Pullman, will get another job is if he plays Assange in his biopic.
6. You’d want to know what your employees are doing while they’re at work, especially if they extorted their salary from you.
7. At some point, Assange is going to leak that Harry Reid is gay, and we’ll all have a fun time pretending to be shocked.
8. Gucci needs someone besides Guidos to don their shiny suits in public.
9. The first amendment is there to protect us from the government, not the government from us.
10. Aside from whistleblowing, the only other way to keep a government honest is to keep it small, which we’re really bad at doing.
Thank you Cock Rock, for making me spontaneously recollect (in reverse Dead Zone fashion) the fact that I used to own ALL of the Carmen Sandiego games and how sad and lonely I was as a child.
Yeah, but now you know that if somebody likes Gumbo, then they’re from New Orleans.
Assange was arrested after it was revealed that the leaker had flaxen hair and that he was planning visiting a city known for it’s big clock named Ben.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank Mr Assange for exposing the corrupt trash that which is the US federal government. Not liek they have not been xposed before, you’d think the stupid sheeple of this nation would have done something to downsize the government by now, but noooo. Instead 90% of americans are sell out losers who are just trying to get money and f**k b***hes, hence the reason they all just up and join any government arm they can, under the guise of “fighting for freedom”. So again I say, thank you Mr. Assange, for putting pressure on the US federal government when the american people were too stupid and scared to. PS USA = POOP
Mike, every ethical code of sacrifice is a gateway for statism; your renunciation of money and sex leads to the very thing you despise about this country. I suggest you read books from Strong Brains (link on right-hand side of this page) instead of watching Zeitgeist again. Or, at least stop using words like “sheeple.”